watching the lights go down

other worlds through sunglasses


meta-analysis, cunning plan, writers are liars
Rook the Librarian gisho
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[origific] [Antonio & Zohar #4] On self-defintion and love and other highfaultin subjects
I'll find the links to previous bits later. In a rush right now.





While I was working yesterday this guy asked me, "So what do you do?"

I said, "I'm a barista, what does it look like?"

And he said, "Well, half the baristas I meet are really something else. You looke like a smart girl. Maybe you're really a superhero. More likely you're a college student, right? Say, are you doing anything after work?"

Which got me thinking. (Not about him, I shot him down.) Strangely enough, I tend to descibe myself as a barista first, a college student second, even though I spend more time on being a college student than being a barista. When it's all said and done. But the truth, for those of you who havn't realized it by now - I am in the middle of a doctorate.

Someday I hope to be a full-time college professor. In fact his has been my career ambition since a young age, although the subject keeps changing. (Well, it's pretty well fixed in Literature now.) My mother was also a college professor, although in her case it was Political Science. She's retire now. My father was, and still is, an electrician. They live some distance outside of Eugene in a little cottege that nobody can walk insdie of without realizing they're both utter, complete hippies. My younger siblings are called Amen and Selah, that's how obvious it is. My mother wears tie-dye.

They're also vegan, although oddly enough they did not raise me vegan, and they are not raising Amen and Selah vegan. I have speculated at length on their reasoning, but have never gotten the courage to actually ask.

So if you ever wondered how I got this weird, that's the answer.

Most of the women I date are college students, as well. Oddly enough I tend to go for the science majors. Back when I was an undergrad I spent more than a year with a physics PhD student with the most amazing boobs (she was the one who thought sneaking me in to see the reactor at 3 AM was romantic) and after we went our seperate ways the next two were pure maths. Frankly the "date college students" thing doesn't seem to be working, but I stand a whelk's chance in a supernova of meeting women who aren't, given my usual haunts (IE, coffeeshop & various academic buildings, with occasional forays to cheap theatre, which I usally go to with Antonio, who tends to get mistaken for my boyfriend.)

(Antonio has also never been to college. In fact he assures me he came within two hairs of dropping out of high school in the 10th grade; it has to do with his parents being Catholic and him being a bitter atheist, and also gay, and also, it has to be said, a complete fruit, which is not the same thing and far more likely to get one beat up, at least at the sort of high school he was going to at the time.)

So the question arises, what should I do? Is this actually a problem? Am I just unlucky? I'm only 25, what is it to me if I have yet to find the love of my life? There's time, right?

Maybe I should change tactics, but I have no idea *how*.

I read about this woman who decided, in at attempt to find romance, that for the next year she was going to say yes every time someone asked her out, and also write a book about it. The trouble is that to be frank a ot more guys ask me out than women, and I am not bisexual. I have been accused of being on the basis of Antonio, but in fact a significant portion of our friendship is founded on the basis of our complete and utter lack of sexual attraction. I do have certain standards.

i am re-reading for a feel of the characters. i love zohar. &hearts you'll find love one day, zo!

plz to be writing more, sah. ;_;

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