gisho

GetBackers characters, .hack//Sign setting, UTTER INSANITY.



The Wavemaster leaned on his staff and looked cheerful and innocent. "Now whyever would you suspect me of such a thing?" he asked the small child who stood glaring at him. She had pink hair and pink markings on her skin, winding up and down her arms like vines.

"Because," said the child, "you're a hacker, and you'd think it was funny."

"It is funny. Immensely funny." The Wavemaster smiled, adjusting his hat. "Besides, last time I saw you, weren't you using an umbrella? It doesn't suit you, you know. Compared to what you use in real life."

"This," the child replied with annoyed dignity, "is not real life." She held out her weapon and waved it in his face. It was a small plastic spork, white and unremarkable, that could have come from any of a thousand take-out restaurants. "How am I expected to fight with this?"

"Come, now, it suits you just as well as the umbrella did."

"It used to be the umbrella." The child sniffed. "I may not use an umbrella in real life, but in here, it suits me. I don't look the same here either, do I? Even if you do." She looked the Wavemaster up and down, and he blushed. "Not that you don't look good with silver hair and blue eyes, but I'd think you'd take any chance to be someone different."

"Well - "

At that moment there was a buzzing noise, and a monster appeared behind them.

As one, they spun to face it. It was enormous, a Level 30 monster, with red horns and spitting fire. They began to back away. The Wavemaster held out his staff. The child held out her spork. "What do you think?" she hissed.

"I think," said the Wavemaster carefully, "that cornering me to ask about the spork in the Terrible Flaming Caves was a really bad idea." Taking aim, he shot off an ice-spell. The monster intercepted it with a roar of fire.

The child attempted to hide behind him. He scowled, and taking careful aim, attempted another spell. It had no more effect than the first, and as the monster charged toward them, they dodged in opposite directions.

The monster apparently thought the Wavemaster was a more tempting target, as it turned toward him and let off a volley of fireballs. He dodged them all, but the last forced him to flee into a crevice in the wall, leaving him trapped. He held out his staff, but the monster was taking its time, aiming properly, knowing it had got him.

As it threw back its head, the child shrugged, muttered "Here goes nothing", and took the perfect back-shot with the spork. It hit the monster squarely in what passed for its neck, and the roar was strangled as it collapsed to the ground, dead with a single hit.

The Wavemaster slowly lowered his staff and stared. Finally he smiled. "See? I never said I took its stats down."

"So it was you?"

"Well, yes - " The wavemaster cowered as the child raised her spork. "Akabane-san! I'll change it back if you like! I promise! It was only a jooooke! It was Emishi's idea anyway!" He turned and ran, gasping, as the child followed with eyes that blazed in furious vengeance.